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November 19, 2003

At One Time There Were Statesmen


No comment necessary:

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we
are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and
servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
Theodore Roosevelt
The Kansas City Star - May 7, 1918

This Is Sure To Win Hearts And Minds


Once again, the ass clowns in our current abortion of an administration and the pentagon prove they don't pay any attention to history:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. military's code name for a crackdown on resistance in Iraq was also used by the Nazis for an aborted operation to damage the Soviet power grid during World War II.

"Operation Iron Hammer" this week launched the 1st Armored Division's 3rd Brigade into the roughest parts of Baghdad to ferret out the attackers who have killed scores of U.S. troops since Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was ousted in April.

A Pentagon official said the name was chosen because of the "Old Ironsides" nickname of the 1st Armored Division. He was unaware of any connection to any Nazi operation.

"Eisenhammer," the German for "iron hammer," was a Luftwaffe code name for a plan to destroy Soviet generating plants in the Moscow and Gorky areas in 1943, according to Universal Lexikon on the www.infobitte.de Web site.

A researcher at Britain's Imperial War Museum confirmed the existence of Eisenhammer.

The Nazi's long-range bombing operation was repeatedly postponed and was finally scrapped after an allied air assault destroyed many of the German planes on the ground in 1945, shortly before the defeat of Germany.

After it declared war on terrorism, U.S. officials changed the code name for its impending attack on Afghanistan to Operation Enduring Freedom.

The original name, Operation Infinite Justice, was jettisoned amid fears that the Muslim world, already leery of U.S. intentions, would object on the basis of Koranic teachings that only God can provide infinite justice.

November 18, 2003

Disclaimer Mania


Many corporate email systems are now attaching a disclaimer to each note - at least the ones going outside the company firewall - about intended recipient, redistribution, confidentiality, etc. Very few are short and sweet; most are pedantic and overly long. After all, they are written by lawyers. Every now and then some lawyer geek goes way over the top. This little gem is often longer than the actual content of the note:

This message contains confidential information and is intended only for the individual named. If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system.
E-mail transmission cannot be guaranteed to be secure or error-free. The sender therefore does not accept liability for any errors or omissions in the contents of this message that arise as a result of e-mail transmission.
This message is provided for informational purposes and should not be construed as a solicitation or offer to buy or sell any securities or related financial instruments.
All e-mails at --------- ------ are, in accordance with Firm policy, to be used for --------- ------ business purposes only. E-mails sent from or to the Firm are subject to being reviewed by the Firm in accordance with the Firm's procedure for the review of correspondence.


November 11, 2003

What Did We McDo?


What did we as a society ever do to deserve the current McDonalds campaign? That super-annoying jingle at the intro and outro of spots, the incredibly lame McRap/McHipHop in between, and the incessant tag line. It's enough to make me want to jam a screwdriver through my eardrums. The first one I heard I thought, oh, yet another crappy McAd. Then all the other variations and permutations were unleashed with the vigor that an intestinal flu voids your insides while you hang onto the porcelain bowl, praying for a swift and merciful death. If ever there was a reason to boycott McD's, their current scortched-earth carpet bombing radio and tv campaign rises above all others.

November 06, 2003

Old Mines Are Dangerous!
Yikes! Wouldn't this be the surprise to stumble upon......

Mojave National Preserve (CA)
Explosives Found and Destroyed


On October 8th, a contractor working in the park came upon a metal silo at the Morning Star Mine which appeared to contain explosives. Rangers and the county bomb squad examined the silo and confirmed that it contained about 40,000 pounds of energized and active ammonium nitrate explosives. Around-the-clock security was begun and maintained at the site for nine days until the explosives could be destroyed. Rangers from Lake Mead, Santa Monica Mountains and the BLM assisted with the security. NPS explosives disposal experts from Yosemite and Sequoia-Kings Canyon destroyed the explosives in small amounts. The 40,000 pounds constituted about nine times as much of the same explosive as was used in the Oklahoma City bombing.
[Submitted by Kirk Gebicke, Park Ranger]

October 31, 2003

I Went To The Wrong School
It's so sad. Today I discovered that i made a bad choice many years ago and went to the wrong school. How cool it would have been to have gone to a school like Evergreen State College , just to be able to have a mollusk for a mascot. YEA!! Go Fighting Geoducks!
Geoduck factoids:
A developing geoduck burrows into sediment 1 foot per year. After digging about 3 feet deep, the adult geoduck settles in for 100 years or more.

The geoduck feeds on phytoplankton (single-celled marine algae), mostly diatoms and flagellates.

In burrowed adults, the siphon may stretch 39 inches to the sea bed.

For all you big time geoduck clam fans, here's even more info and photos.

October 30, 2003

It Approaches
Arnold Schwantznegger was elected by Californians a mere three weeks ago.
Fierce wildfires ravage an area of southern California larger than Rhode Island with no signs of abatement.
Coincidence? Only if you're not watching for signs of the impending apocalypse.
Yawn
I suppose someone somewhere wants to watch these shows....
New television shows that have either been canceled or put on hiatus for the November ratings sweeps. Their future is uncertain:

"Luis" Fox. Canceled.
An insult to hispanic folks everywhere. An insult to anyone with an IQ greater than that of a cabbage.

"The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H." CBS. On hiatus.
Barf. Gag. This was craptastic from concept onward.

"The Lyon's Den"' NBC. On hiatus.
It didn't totally suck ass, but it was totally boring and had been done much better, many other times. Another sterling example of Must Flee TV(tm).

"Coupling" NBC. On hiatus.
Apparently a good show on the BBC, then the ass-clowns at NBC had to tinker with it.

"The Mullets"' UPN. On hiatus.
It's stuff like this that will cause the first visiting aliens to vaporize the planet, lest we infest the rest of the galaxy.

October 24, 2003

A Crack News Reporter
Really folks, is it that freakin' hard to get the details right? Four lousy sentences, but what does the gibberish that passes as the 3rd sentence mean? "Rack and pinion"??!!??
WTF???!!?
[From the rocket scientists at: http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/news/102003_nw_bodies_found.html ]

Bodies of Rock Climbers Found

IDYLWILD ­ The bodies of two Southland rock climbers who plunged to their deaths have now been recovered.

The tragedy occurred Sunday at Taquitz Rock, near Idylwild in Riverside County, a popular rock climbing site.

Authorities say a rack and pinion climbers use to scale rocky terrain snapped and the two men fell 6-hundred feet to the bottom of a ravine.

The victims, 32 year old Kelly Tugo of Anza and 41 year old David Kellogg of San Diego, were experienced climbers.

October 23, 2003

X10 Pop-Up Blocking Hack No Longer Needed
You can delete your X-10 cookie and the directions on how to stop their pop-ups for 3000 years. While I may feel sorry for their employees, this seems to be poetic justice for enduring all those annoying pop-ups and pop-unders all these years. Check that - I don't feel sorry for the ass-wipes that devised and wrote the ads or approved their use.

X10 files for Chapter 11

By Paul Festa
Staff Writer, CNET News.com
[complete report at: http://news.com.com/2100-1014-5095260.html

Story last modified October 22, 2003, 3:16 PM PDT

The company that only last year billed itself as the world's largest online advertiser has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
X10 Wireless Technology, which marketed its Net cameras through a vast campaign of Web pop-under advertisements, made the filing on Tuesday in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Western District of Washington.

The filing came one day before the company faced a hearing in Orange County Superior Court for punitive damages following its loss to a tiny ad start-up called Advertisement Banners.com, based in Anaheim, Calif. That company had alleged that X10 had stolen its method of serving pop-under ads, or ads that show up beneath a Web page and remain on the screen once the window is closed.

On Oct. 7, the jury in the case awarded Advertisement Banners $4.3 million in compensatory damages, according to court records. The judge issued a gag order Tuesday in the case that will last until the jury is dismissed.

October 21, 2003

A Heard joke
What's the difference between George W Bush and Hitler?
Hitler was duly elected.
Reality Is A Problem For Conservatives
Came across an interesting quote today by media analyst Michael Parenti:

"The conservative problem is (that) reality itself is radical. The third world really is poor and oppressed. The United States usually does side with third world oligarchs. Our tax system really is regressive. Millions of Americans do live in poverty. Public services really are being ruthlessly cut. Corporations do plunder and pollute the environment. Real wages for blue collar workers have declined. And the rich have dramatically increased their share of the pie."


Despite their best efforts, there are limits to how much spin morons like Bill O'Rielly, Sean Hannity, the drug-addled Rush Limbo, and the voice of the radical right, the FOX Propaganda Network, can finesse these realities. Sometimes ugly fact just intrudes too strongly on deeply held fantasy. Consequently, to many stalwart conservatives, media reporting of and commentary on things like the costs and problems in Iraq or the tax breaks for the wealthy do prove a "liberal bias" in the media as far as they're concerned.

October 20, 2003

Dial-Up Modem Usage
Every now and then in some discussion group, an outspoken individual will proclaim that dial-up is dead, almost "everyone" has high speed broadband access, and that web designers don't have to worry about dial-up anymore. Often these individuals are college students with little world experience, but that's beside the point. What really matters is they couldn't be more wrong. I finally came across some recent numbers:

There are approximately 70 million people with internet access in the US.
Number who access with:
Internet TV: 1 M
DSL: 3 M
Cable modem: 5 M
Dial-up modem: 61 M
[source: Information Technology Association of America]

Obviously each site needs to determine it's own user base and if dial-up users are a significant (or important enough) fraction to warrant concern. However the implication is clear: if you want your site to be usable for the greatest possible number of visitors, the design must be optimized for fast loading on a dial-up connection. And that doesn't mean 56Kbps. A huge majority of phone lines and switches aren't clean enough to support even that speed. The sites must be optimized for 28.8Kbps and even at that, a significant number of dial-up users with 56K modems will actually connect at 14.4Kbps.
Court Antics
This time it's the D.C. Sniper case. Typically after this kind of decision, hilarity ensues.
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) - A judge granted sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad's surprise request Monday to represent himself, minutes before opening statements in the trial were to begin.

The proceedings had started nearly an hour late, and Circuit Judge LeRoy F. Millette Jr. immediately called a bench conference with Muhammad and defense and prosecuting attorneys. Muhammad and Millette spoke directly to each other for more than five minutes before the judge announced that defense lawyers Peter Greenspun and Jonathan Shapiro would only be assisting Muhammad.

``His attorneys are now what is known as standby counsel,'' Millette told the jury. He did not explain why Muhammad chose to represent himself.

Prosecutors would not say why Malvo was summoned. He had refused to testify at a recent hearing and instead invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.

October 12, 2003

Enjoy What You Said and Voted You Wanted!
OK California, I hope you got what you really wanted. At a moment when the stakes could not have been higher, you voted in an action hero who waved a broom. Some of the other politicians, at least the serious ones, had huge, reasonably well thought out platforms. You voted in a mediocre actor who spouted lines from his movies, gave no interviews of any substance, never really articulated any plans, and agreed to exactly one debate - where he knew the questions in advance.
Best of luck, guys!

October 09, 2003

The New Guy
Obviously this photo was taken when his inner machine was in dominant mode.


[AP/Reuters News photo]
This Just Leaves Me Speechless
From an AP news item about GWB and how he gets his news:

Bush insisted he was "not paying attention" to the Democratic race. He said he knew who the candidates are, but had not watched a Democratic debate.
Likewise, Bush's response to the Democrats' specific criticisms about his handling of the war in Iraq and the economy. "I repeat, I'm not really paying attention to it," he said.
Bush said he insulates himself from the "opinions" that seep into news coverage by getting his news from his own aides. He said he scans headlines, but rarely reads news stories.
"I appreciate people's opinions, but I'm more interested in news," the president said. "And the best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world."

Where on Earth would we be able to find anyone with less perspective and curiosity about the world?
GWB Really Is A Moron
George Bush briefed reporters on his ongoing efforts to find out who leaked the name of John Wilson's wife as a CIA operative:

"I don't know if we're going to find out the senior administration official," Bush said. "I don't have any idea. I'd like to. I want to know the truth."
But, Bush said, "This is a large administration and there's a lot of senior officials."

I don't get it. Does he really have that much contempt for the American public? Does he really think we're that stupid? How can he possibly believe we'll find Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, but doesn't believe we'll find a felony criminal on his own staff?

Hamburger Anyone?
I'm not sure precisely what, but there's something strangely poetic lurking in this story:

REDDICK, Fla. — Florida, the lightning capital of the nation, lived up to its reputation when 20 prized, pregnant cows were killed by a bolt that hit an oak tree they were huddled under at a north Florida farm, police said. Two others were euthanized.

"The hole in the tree was the size of a watermelon," said Rose Mary Cameron of Clover Leaf Farm. "The ones that were under the tree did not move. They just fell over each other. They were all tangled up."

She said two others appeared brain dead, "so the manager put them down."

Paul Resler of the National Lightning Protection Corp. in Denver said trees are the worst place to seek shelter in case of lightning.

"Of course we as humans know that, but the cows do not know that," Resler said.

I also nominate Paul Resler as this year's reigning Master of the Obvious.

August 20, 2003

Through The Parody Lense?
Let's see....blaster worm, anti-blaster worm, SoBig.e virus, Northeast blackout, CA recall circus....remind me again exactly when The Onion stopped being satire and started actual news reporting?

August 07, 2003

Thank You, California!
I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank California for taking the heat and focus off of Utah. We are the butt of jokes about the Olympic bidding scandal, the Tom Green polygamy trial, the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping with it's fanatic religious overtones, the ass-clowns in Virgin that voted in a law requiring gun ownership of all residents, and the moronic LaVerkin town council that declared the town to be a U.N. Free Zone.

But now with the recall vote of Gray Davis, the focus is on the ever-goofy CA politics and the raftload of potential candidates, including Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ariana Huffington, and Gary Coleman (yes, *that* Gary Coleman!)

Once again, the state of Utah thanks you.

July 31, 2003

Aw Crap - The Beetle Lives
Seems I was so caught up in my excitement about the end of the VW Beetle in my post of June 23 that I missed a key point. It isn't the entire line that's coming (has come) to an end - just the old, original Beetle design that was still being manufactured in other countries. Due to safety and noise, that model hasn't been legal in the US since 1977. Unfortunately, this means we still have the neo-retro new beetle fouling our visual space.
Damn.
I knew it was too good to be true.

July 19, 2003

Language Cops Strike Again
The French freak out about the morons who pushed our misguided "freedom fries" yet they pull nonsense like this. Sigh.

French Government Bans Term 'E-Mail'
JAMEY KEATEN
Associated Press

PARIS - Goodbye "e-mail," the French government says, and hello "courriel" - the term that linguistically sensitive France is now using to refer to electronic mail in official documents.

The Culture Ministry has announced a ban on the use of "e-mail" in all government ministries, documents, publications or Web sites, the latest step to stem an incursion of English words into the French lexicon.

The ministry's General Commission on Terminology and Neology insists Internet surfers in France are broadly using the term "courrier electronique" (electronic mail) instead of e-mail - a claim some industry experts dispute. "Courriel" is a fusion of the two words.

"Evocative, with a very French sound, the word 'courriel' is broadly used in the press and competes advantageously with the borrowed 'mail' in English," the commission has ruled.

The move to ban "e-mail" was announced last week after the decision was published in the official government register on June 20. Courriel is a term that has often been used in French-speaking Quebec, the commission said.

The 7-year-old commission has links to the Academie Francaise, the prestigious institution that has been one of the top opponents of allowing English terms to seep into French.

Some Internet industry experts say the decision is artificial and doesn't reflect reality.

"The word 'courriel' is not at all actively used," Marie-Christine Levet, president of French Internet service provider Club Internet, said Friday. "E-mail has sunk in to our values."

She said Club Internet wasn't changing the words it uses.

"Protecting the language is normal, but e-mail's so assimilated now that no one thinks of it as American," she said. "Courriel would just be a new word to launch."

July 11, 2003

I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself
Here's a letter to the editor that ran in the Salt Lake Tribune on Monday, 7/7:

The July Fourth holiday is a time to stand up and show our patriotism. For those who are confused about what it means to be patriotic, here is what I've learned from our president, his administration and other True Patriots:
A true patriot never questions or criticizes their president; would gladly surrender their civil liberties for the purpose of security; would never be opposed to a just war; would never put plants or animals above economic prosperity; would never vote against increasing defense spending; would never support socialist ideas like guaranteeing health care for all; would never let their country be subject to the United Nations, international law or international efforts to do things like reduce greenhouse gases or ban land mines; knows that we are a Christian nation, subservient to the laws of God; does not believe in giving women, minorities and gays "special privileges;" understands that democracy is synonymous with capitalism; knows that it is wrong to regulate business or interfere with its ability to make money; knows that campaign contributions are free speech, burning a flag is not and, finally, a true patriot knows that their individual freedom is the most important thing -- with the following exceptions: when it interferes with "national security," what one does with their own body or anything that interferes with business.

Jon Glenn
Salt Lake City

June 23, 2003

Thoughts On The Old Man Of The Mountain
Last month the 700 tons of the various rocks and blocks that made up the Old Man Of The Mountain, the New Hampshire state symbol high up on the cliff of Cannon Mountain, fell, tumbled, and splattered into the talus 1000' below. In the time since, in various venues on the net, many folks have waxed poetic and posted their memories of things Old Man related. Lots have used the terms heartbreaking, tearful, a great loss, etc.
Bullshit!!!
It may be the contrarian view, but I'm not at all sorry to see it go. Having climbed many times on routes next to and under it, I was always pretty nervous about those tons of unstable loose blocks poised hundreds of feet over my head. My first route ever on Cannon, Lakeview, ended by climbing the corner on the left side of the Old Man. I remember thinking as I anchored to one of the turnbuckles "wtf is keeping this thing together?". Instead of trying to glue and bolt it together, the annual volunteers should have been dismantling it piece by gravity-taunted piece.
Good riddance.
Too bad some routes are probably heavily damaged if not outright obliterated.
Finally! Hooray!!! About F-ing Time!!!
VW finally gets it's corporate head out of it's nostalgic ass, wakes up, and smells the coffee. Too bad it took so damn long and that we had to suffer through the heralded "return" of the ugly little shitbox.

THE ICONIC Volkswagen Beetle, the most popular car ever made, will cease production this summer, 69 years and more than 21 million sales after Adolf Hitler’s Third Reich first commissioned the durable, dome-shaped little “People’s Car.”
Volkswagen officials said earlier this month that the last Beetle assembly line in the world, in VW’s massive plant here in central Mexico, will shut in the coming weeks. They said sales had fallen dramatically because the $6,800 workhorse could no longer compete with slick little imported Fords and Chevys that are priced nearly the same but offer four doors, air conditioning and engines that don’t sound like can openers in distress.

May 08, 2003

20 Years at the Dining Table
Don't you just hate it when this happens?

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) - A San Jose State University professor who announced just weeks ago that he and a colleague had solved an important math problem now says he goofed. Daniel Goldston had worked on the problem for 20 years.

"Even if I had spent another year very carefully going over everything, I think I still would have missed that error," Goldston said Tuesday.

Goldston's advance in the field of prime numbers was called the most important breakthrough in that area of mathematics in decades.

Other experts say that regardless of the outcome, the work Goldston has done with Cem Yalcin Yildirim of Bogazici University in Istanbul is a success.

Goldston's work involves the twin prime conjecture, or the idea that there are an infinite number of pairs of prime numbers that differ only by two.

Prime numbers can be divided only by themselves or by 1 without leaving a remainder. The smallest twin primes are 3 and 5. The largest discovered so far are numbers with 51,090 digits each.

While no one has proved the twin prime conjecture itself, Goldston and Yikdirim tackled a related question: Can you find an infinite number of primes that may not be twins, but that are much closer together than average?

Their proof, or solution, seemed to say yes. But on April 23, a flaw emerged.

Goldston says he will work to fix the flaw over the next several months - mostly at his dining table, while his wife and three children watch television.

April 20, 2003

Today's Moment of Zen
Actually, it was in the Friday NPS Morning Report:

Cape Cod National Seashore (MA)
Unexploded Ordnance Found on Marconi Beach


On the morning of April 3rd, ranger David LaMere found what appeared to be an unexploded bomb, partially exposed near the top of a 100-foot-high dune on the outer beach north of Marconi Beach. From 1942 to 1944, this portion of the park, known then at Camp Wellfleet, was used by the military as an anti-aircraft artillery training center, and, through 1961, as a training center for National Guard and Reserve units. As a result, a wide range of munitions, from 50 caliber rounds to 1000-pound dove bombs have been located through exposure and cleanup efforts. A digital photo of the bomb and specific information was sent to the explosive ordinance disposal (EOD) unit at the Otis Air Force Base, located on Cape Cod. A three-person team arrived on scene to remove it. Due to the advanced state of deterioration, they were unable to determine if the bomb was real or a training device. They decided that they needed to "spank" the 750-pound bomb in place rather than risk detonation attempting to move it to another location. The explosive C4 was used to detonate the bomb, which was found to be a training bomb containing plaster. The remains, which were now in small pieces, were removed from the beach. The area had been secured for a mile in each direction along the beach and for 1000 yards behind the dune. Due to the time of year, visitors in the area was not a significant issue. If it had been summer, as many as a thousand or more visitors would have been on the beach within a quarter mile of the location.
[Submitted by Bob Grant, District Ranger]

April 19, 2003

A Site for Morons
If you know nothing about weather, aviation, or jet engines, and believe that contrails are really poisons or mind control chemicals being sprayed by the government, then this site is for you!

It Really Does Exist
After years of searching, here it is, the very last page.

March 18, 2003

(Not) Arresting Falls

I'm very surprised at the number of long sliding falls I've seen this season. It happened again last Thursday afternoon at Alta. A guy biffed about 4 turns into Spring Valley, a black diamond that is occasionally groomed and about 2.5 cats wide. On Thursday it was moderate sized, well spaced bumps that were quite soft in the 45F and bright sun. This guy slid almost the entire length of the run, coming to a stop just above the Saddle (aka Tower 10) Traverse. It would be akin to sliding down most of the steep section of Catamount Bowl at MRG (or from one trail intersection to the next at Smuggs ;-) Not a huge distance, but more than I'd want to slide uncontrolled.

What I found surprising is that he went down like a rag doll and did absolutely nothing to arrest his slide. No turning over or around, no attempt to get his skis under him, nothing. He just rode it out uncontrolled - and it wasn't even a high speed fall or slide. I saw the same thing on Sunspot (also Alta) last week and three times I can remember at the Bird this season. At Solitude last Monday this happened to a 5 year old kid on the groomed blue square Sunshine Bowl. His (or her - couldn't tell) parent was at the top of the run and just watched. Someone else skied down in front of the child to arrest the slide. The kid had gone a good 100 yards.

I can understand a child not knowing what to do, but all the others I mentioned were older, obviously more experienced skiers. I just don't get it.

March 10, 2003

Our Wooly Friends
For some reason this just fractures me! In particular, the quote from our unlucky concertgoer.

Sheep Head Breaks Music Fan's Skull

March 10, 2003 12:23 PM EST


OSLO, Norway - A flying sheep's head hit a concertgoer and fractured his skull at a concert of metal band Mayhem.

The band, part of Norway's death metal music scene, was carving up a dead sheep as part of its stage act when the animal's head flew off lead singer Maniac's knife and struck Per Kristian Hagen, 25.

"My relationship to sheep is a bit ambivalent now. I like them, but not when they come flying through the air," Hagen told The Associated Press Monday from his hospital room. "I have a headache now." He is expected to recover.

Hagen, a Mayhem fan, filed involuntary assault and battery charges against the band. The charges carry a maximum sentence of six months in prison.

Mayhem member Rune Eriksen, whose stage name is Blasphemer, said the incident was unfortunate.

"The whole thing was an accident, but maybe it would be an idea for another show," he said.

Eriksen promised Hagen a free ticket to the group's next performance.

February 27, 2003

The right name?
I noticed Cigar Aficionado magazine on the rack today, the cover photo personality staring at me with an air of smugness, the hefty cover price, and it struck me.....shouldn't the proper name be Pompous Asshole Magazine? Or how about just coming out and naming it for what it's really saying: "I'm Over-Compensating for My Tiny Dick"?

February 20, 2003

Duct Tape Zen
Yo quiero duct tape!
But which to buy? There are just so many to choose from! Never fear, the font of knowledge Backpacker Magazine comes to the rescue with a review!

And now you can not only duct tape your home, you can duct tape yourself and look good doing it!
Eating Disorder?
Now here's a sport we can all heartily endorse. According to the International Federation of Competitive Eating, Eric "Badlands" Booker became the "finest competitive eater in America" on 27 Jan 03. On that date he consumed 21 oversized matzo balls in 5 minutes to establish a new world record. Eric is in fine company, having beaten previous record holders such as Ed "Cookie" Jarvis, who consumed 21 cannoli in a mere 6 minutes and Crazy Legs Conti who slurped down 168 oysters in 10 minutes. Check the records page for other notables like Oleg Zhornitskiy, downing four 32-ounce bowls of mayonaise in 8 minutes or former world champ Don Lerman. Don managed to eat seven quarter pound sticks of salted butter in five minutes. We can only assume that these guys were regular for weeks afterward.

But always remember:
Safety is the first consideration in any sport, and the IFOCE insists that all competitive eating matches take place in a controlled environment with the proper safety measures in place. Speed eating is not a sport for the home.

January 29, 2003

Yeah, It's Been Warm...
...but Alta's forcast for today is lunacy! (check the predicted low temp):

Forecast For Wednesday, January 29th

Sky Cover: Partly sunny
High & Low Temp: High today near 44, and low tonight near 230 degrees
Winds: Light
Expected Snowfall: 0"
Extended Forecast:
The extended forecast calls for this pattern of scattered snow flurries, partly clear skies and mild temperatures to continue though the weekend. More snow is possible on Thursday with a stronger system on Saturday

January 23, 2003

January 17, 2003

Must Flee TV

Happened to have NBC on last night for the majority of their prime time fare. I don't usually do this. Sure, I've watched an occasional Friends this season and Scrubs is kinda OK, but, WTF? At one time during television seasons of bygone days, NBC on Thursday nights could be reasonably counted upon to produce at least some chuckles if not outright LOL. Now?

Friends - a dismal characterization of its former self - and it was never all that funny to begin with. These people are total morons bordering on the psychotic. There is no way they'd ever be able to live in the NYC apartments they have since they wouldn't be able to hold down a job at McDonald's. Any children they have would already be in the custody of Children's Protective Services. The writers ran out of ideas for this a long time ago.

Scrubs - sorta sometimes smile-inducing, but these clowns are just as annoying as Friends. Sad it only took 0.6 seasons to become so.

Will & Grace - this is one of the most unfunny, unsexy, steaming pile of turds being broadcast. It makes no sense that it has received as many awards as it has over the years, unless all the voting judges of all the awards were given free blow-jobs by the cast.

Something about Miami I think? - I don't even know the title of the piece of shit waste of a half-hour that comes on after W&G.

Maybe I should just start watching reruns of South Park on Thursday evenings. NBC's fare makes me want to soak my head in a bucket of lye and pull out my eyeballs.

January 16, 2003

A Rough Holiday Season


Just in case you haven't seen this 40,000 times already on the net

January 13, 2003

Retribution for Saturday Night Fever


BeeGee Maruice Gibb dead at 53.
Two down, two to go.

January 07, 2003

Should I? Nah....


Should I see Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Finally decided against it. Having not read any of the books (just never found them compelling enough to want to wade through), I was looking forward to the first film. And then I saw it. Almost 3 hours of my life irretrievably wasted. Everyone who read LotR told me it was exciting and engulfing and grand fantasy. Instead I endured 3 hours of vague to intense boredom and pretty poor CGI effects. How could the producers and directors take something supposedly that good and reduce it to tedious dreck? At least Liv Tyler was pleasant to look at.
I'll not make the same mistake again.


Weak on the Concept


I received a spam email today. It came from Computerworld. Specifically, from a third party using CW's subscriber list, as was stated at the start of the message:

Third Party Rental Use of Computerworld E-mail List

The following is vendor information on new products and services
which you opted to receive when you submitted an application for
Computerworld. We hope it is of interest to you.


Then came the content of the spam:

IDC Ranks Clearswift #1 worldwide for content filtering; more organizations
use Clearswift products to prevent spam than any other solution.

For a FREE copy of the "Effective Spam Management", simply click on
http://clearswift.em11.net/wp/s.aspx?p=2l

As unwanted and unsolicited email becomes a more serious issue that impacts
productivity and increases processing and storage costs, it's tougher than
ever for organizations to keep their email policy, security and technology
up to date. To keep up, you need clearly presented and accurate information.

Clearswift Corporation, makers of ENTERPRISEsuite and MIMEsweeper, and
the world leader in email security, filtering and encryption are offering
you a free anti-spam White Paper http://clearswift.em11.net/wp/s.aspx?p=2l

Idiot ass-clowns. I wonder if my last manager at UDV is working for Clearswift.