If your head is up your a$$, you have lost 4 of your 5 senses - Nelson DeMille

Are People Really This Stupid?

Some assclown on eBay is trying to sell a partially eaten, 10-year old grilled cheese sandwich that supposedly contains an image of the Virgin Mary. The seller, Diana Duyser, of Hollywood, describes it thusly:

"I made this sandwich 10 years ago, when I took a bite out of it, I saw a face looking up at me, It was Virgin Mary starring back at me, I was in total shock, I would like to point out there is no mold or disingration, The item has not been preserved or anything, It has been keep in a plastic case, not a special one that seals out air or potiental mold or bacteria, it is like a miracle, It has just preserved itself which in itself I consider a miracle, people ask me if I have had blessings since she has been in my home, I do feel I have, I have won $70,000 (total) on different occasions at the casino near by my house, I can show the recipts to the high bidder if they are interested..."

eBay went so far as to cancel the first auction because they thought the seller was joking. Since then they've reinstated the auction. Quoting from the AP article:

Diana Duyser, of Hollywood, put the sandwich up for sale last week, drawing bids as high as $22,000 before eBay pulled the item Sunday night. The page was viewed almost 100,000 times before being taken down.

An e-mail Duyser received from eBay said the sandwich broke its policy, which "does not allow listings that are intended as jokes."

But Duyser, a work-from-home jewelry designer who has bought and sold items on eBay for two years, said the grilled cheese wasn't a joke.

The auction was back on Tuesday afternoon with a top bid of $5,100. The winning bidder also has to pay $9.95 for shipping. In mocking response, two similar items were later posted ? grilled cheese sandwiches bearing the images of the Virgin Mary's used gum and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.

Duyser thought eBay would be the best place to show off the sandwich, made on plain white bread and American cheese and cooked with no oil or butter. She said she took a bite after making it 10 years ago and saw a face staring back at her from the bread.

Duyser, 52, put the sandwich in a clear plastic box with cotton balls and kept it on her night stand.

She seems like a wingnut but just maybe she's really clever. The real venom should be directed at the morons who are bidding on the sandwich. $22,000???? Twentytwo thousand dollars? Are these people bat-shit insane???

Officially Old [sigh] :-(

ORLANDO, Fla. -- Suspicious packages that shut down a busy road in downtown Orlando Thursday were found to be lava lamps, according to Local 6 News.

The lava lamps were found on top of a building near Central Boulevard Thursday.The bomb squad did not know what the lamps were at first and sealed off a block of Central Boulevard from Orange Avenue to Garland Avenue.The streets were reopened after the lamps were identified.It is not known who put the lamps on the building's roof or why they were placed on the building.Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

The youngsters on the bomb squad didn't know what a lava lamps look like.

That Charlie Brooker Piece

This ran in The Guardian on 10.23.04 but has since been pulled from their site because of the objectionable final sentence. I'm reproducing it here because it shouldn't vanish from the web.

Charlie Brooker
Saturday October 23, 2004
The Guardian

Heady times. The US election draws ever nearer, and while the rest of the world bangs its head against the floorboards screaming "Please God, not Bush!", the candidates clash head to head in a series of live televised debates. It's a bit like American Idol, but with terrifying global ramifications. You've got to laugh.
Or have you? Have you seen the debates? I urge you to do so. The exemplary BBC News website (www.bbc.co.uk/news) hosts unexpurgated streaming footage of all the recent debates, plus clips from previous encounters, through Reagan and Carter, all the way back to Nixon versus JFK.

Watching Bush v Kerry, two things immediately strike you. First, the opening explanation of the rules makes the whole thing feel like a Radio 4 parlour game. And second, George W Bush is... well, he's... Jesus, where do you start?

The internet's a-buzz with speculation that Bush has been wearing a wire, receiving help from some off-stage lackey. Screen grabs appearing to show a mysterious bulge in the centre of his back are being traded like Top Trumps. Prior to seeing the debate footage, I regarded this with healthy scepticism: the whole "wire" scandal was just wishful thinking on behalf of some amateur Michael Moores, I figured. And then I watched the footage.

Quite frankly, the man's either wired or mad. If it's the former, he should be flung out of office: tarred, feathered and kicked in the nuts. And if it's the latter, his behaviour goes beyond strange, and heads toward terrifying. He looks like he's listening to something we can't hear. He blinks, he mumbles, he lets a sentence trail off, starts a new one, then reverts back to whatever he was saying in the first place. Each time he recalls a statistic (either from memory or the voice in his head), he flashes us a dumb little smile, like a toddler proudly showing off its first bowel movement. Forgive me for employing the language of the playground, but the man's a tool.

So I sit there and I watch this and I start scratching my head, because I'm trying to work out why Bush is afforded any kind of credence or respect whatsoever in his native country. His performance is so transparently bizarre, so feeble and stumbling, it's a miracle he wasn't laughed off the stage. And then I start hunting around the internet, looking to see what the US media made of the whole "wire" debate. And they just let it die. They mentioned it in passing, called it a wacko conspiracy theory and moved on.

Yet whether it turns out to be true or not, right now it's certainly plausible - even if you discount the bulge photos and simply watch the president's ridiculous smirking face. Perhaps he isn't wired. Perhaps he's just gone gaga. If you don't ask the questions, you'll never know the truth.

The silence is all the more troubling since in the past the US news media has had no problem at all covering other wacko conspiracy theories, ones with far less evidence to support them. (For infuriating confirmation of this, watch the second part of the must-see documentary series The Power Of Nightmares (Wed, 9pm, BBC2) and witness the absurd hounding of Bill Clinton over the Whitewater and Vince Foster non-scandals.)

Throughout the debate, John Kerry, for his part, looks and sounds a bit like a haunted tree. But at least he's not a lying, sniggering, drink-driving, selfish, reckless, ignorant, dangerous, backward, drooling, twitching, blinking, mouse-faced little cheat. And besides, in a fight between a tree and a bush, I know who I'd favour.

On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?

Except for the final crack about wishing for assinations, I couldn't agree more. We can only hope the author is wrong in his guess that Furious George might win.

In his stump speech, The Smirking Chimp says he's "proudly running on his record". He's proud of a record of absolute and utter incompetence and abject failure? Thus he's telling you that if you vote for him, you're a moron. Furious George thinks you're too stupid to realize that. Why is it that the rest of the world but only about half of this country can see that?

Bush Supporters Are Delusional

They are still standing behind Furious George because they are either delusional or brainwashed. They just cannot rationalize the spectacular failure he has been as a president. A survey, which was conducted in mid-October by the University of Maryland's Program on International Policy Attitudes (PIPA) and Knowledge Networks, a California-based polling firm.

The survey was conducted after the release of the Duelfer Report, which was just one more confirmation that Iraq had no WMD, had no ties to al-Qaeda, and had no responsibility for 9/11. Despite that, the survey found that of the mindless drones that are his supporters, meaning most of the people who identify themselves as Republicans:

72% believe either that Iraq had actual WMD (47%) or a major program for making them (25%).

56% said they thought most experts currently believe Iraq had actual WMD

57% said they thought the Duelfer Report had concluded that Iraq either had WMD (19%) or a major WMD program (38%).

75% believe that Saddam was providing substantial support to al-Qaeda.

20% believe Baghdad was directly involved in the 9/11 attacks.

63% even believe that clear evidence of such support has been found

60% believe most experts agree with this conclusion.

55% believe that was the ultimate finding of the 9-11 commission report.


This is ignorance and the denial of reality of the worst sort. Now where did they get these crazy ideas?

82% perceive the administration as saying that Iraq had WMD.

75% perceive the administration as saying that Iraq was providing substantial support to al-Qaeda.


Some more staggering results:

42% believe foreign views were evenly divided on the war

26% believe that the world population strongly supported the Bush administration's decision to go to war.


Bush supporters are also pig-headedly wrong about Georgie's position on a number of other international issues. What's more, these morons said they [I]favored[/I] the positions that they incorrectly ascribed to the presnit:

69% think he supports the Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty (CTBT)

72% think that the administration supports the international ban on land mines.

51% think Furious George supports the Kyoto treaty.

53% still think Buah favors U.S. participation in the international criminal court (even though he said the opposite during the debates).

74% think their man favors the inclusion of labor and environmental standards in trade agreements.

In ten or fifteen years, when it's common knowledge that one-term-president Bush was the worst president in the nation's history, I wonder what will be said about those vote for him for a second term. All those who are delusional enough to have swallowed all the lies from this administration.

Bush Says Vote For Kerry!

In a campaign speech today, Furious George said:

For a political candidate to jump to conclusions without knowing the facts is not a person you want as your commander in chief.

A very compelling and thoughtful argument for why he should not be reelected. As Gen. Wesley Clarke eloquently explains in a statement today:

President Bush couldn?t be more right. He jumped to conclusions about any connection between Saddam Hussein and 911. He jumped to conclusions about weapons of mass destruction. He jumped to conclusions about the mission being accomplished. He jumped to conclusions about how we had enough troops on the ground to win the peace. And because he jumped to conclusions, terrorists and insurgents in Iraq may very well have their hands on powerful explosives to attack our troops, we are stuck in Iraq without a plan to win the peace, and Americans are less safe both at home and abroad.

By doing all these things, he broke faith with our men and women in uniform. He has let them down. George W. Bush is unfit to be our Commander in Chief.

Zell Miller: An Angry, Little Man

Andrew Sullivan, who has no love for either Kerry or the Democrats, does a masterful job of bitch slapping nasty little Zell Miller:

Zell Miller's address will, I think, go down as a critical moment in this campaign, and maybe in the history of the Republican party. I kept thinking of the contrast with the Democrats' keynote speaker, Barack Obama, a post-racial, smiling, expansive young American, speaking about national unity and uplift. Then you see Zell Miller, his face rigid with anger, his eyes blazing with years of frustration as his Dixiecrat vision became slowly eclipsed among the Democrats. Remember who this man is: once a proud supporter of racial segregation, a man who lambasted LBJ for selling his soul to the negroes. His speech tonight was in this vein, a classic Dixiecrat speech, jammed with bald lies, straw men, and hateful rhetoric. As an immigrant to this country and as someone who has been to many Southern states and enjoyed astonishing hospitality and warmth and sophistication, I long dismissed some of the Northern stereotypes about the South. But Miller did his best to revive them. The man's speech was not merely crude; it added whole universes to the word crude.

[....]

By claiming that the Democrats were the enemies of the troops, traitors, quislings and wimps, Miller did exactly what he had the audacity to claim the Democrats were doing: making national security a partisan matter. I'm not easy to offend, but this speech was gob-smackingly vile.

[....]

Miller has absolutely every right to lambaste John Kerry's record on defense in the Senate. It's ripe for criticism, and, for my part, I disagree with almost all of it (and as a pro-Reagan, pro-Contra, pro-SDI, pro-Gulf War conservative, I find Kerry's record deeply troubling). But that doesn't mean he's a traitor or hates America's troops or believes that the U.S. is responsible for global terror. And the attempt to say so is a despicable attempt to smear someone's very patriotism.

[....]

What's remarkable about the Republicans is their utter indifference to fairness in their own attacks. Smearing opponents as traitors to their country, as unfit to be commander-in-chief, as agents of foreign powers (France) is now fair game. Appealing to the crudest form of patriotism and the easiest smears is wrong when it is performed by the lying Michael Moore and it is wrong when it is spat out by Zell Miller. Last night was therefore a revealing night for me. I watched a Democrat at a GOP Convention convince me that I could never be a Republican. If they wheel out lying, angry old men like this as their keynote, I'll take Obama. Any day.

Republican Family Values & Bill O'Reilly

A lot of GOPers got their panties in a bunch over Whoopi Goldberg's tired old joke about the name of our President. Now we hear that the Republican National Committee has invited Kid Rock to perform at its convention. Kid Rock??!!?? Have any of these hypocrites actually bothered to listened to or look up any of the lyrics? Were they so blinded by the horrid flashing of Janet Jackson's evil breast that they forgot the bloated, scrawny, middle-aged, semi-naked white guy using a US flag as a shawl that was on screen before her Satanic performance? As a public service to the RNC, below are some "family values" lyrics from Kid Rock. Which songs do you think they'll use at the convention? Here are some to choose from:

Fuck U Blind

I'll fuck u blind bitch
I'll fuck u blind bitch
I'll fuck u blind till you just can't see no more

Wax The Booty

Wax that booty
Co-wax the booty
Freaky freaky freak with the nice size booty
Wax that booty
Co-wax the booty
I gotta freak freak so I am gonna wax her booty"


Pimp of the Nation

There's only two types of men
Pimps and John's
There's one type of bitch
And that's a ho


Killin' Brain Cells

So fuck college and a good education
All we need to learn is how to hold hands
Then we could live in peace in my homeland
God damn the way my pain swells
I spend all my time killin' brain cells
The light shed on me was a dim gleam
So I live life in a bottle of Jim Beam
Droppin' dots or sniffin' that blow black,
I go to sleep at night watchin' Kojak
Fuck hoes cuz I'm no big fag
Roll with Zig Zags like to read skin mags

Rabid attack dog Bill O'Reilly called for a boycott of Pepsi over hiring Ludacris a few years ago. He's protesting Anheiser Busch for doing the same this year. Will he have the balls to call a boycott on Republicans for using Kid Rock? Write to him at Oreilly@foxnews.com.
[Post idea and lyrics courtesy of www.patridiots.com]

What Viagra, Cialis, etc. Commercials Should Be

You've seen them. The commercials hawking drugs for erectile dysfunction, complete with suggestive imagery, like footballs being tossed through tires. (Sure. I see a football and immediately think "sex!". Give me a freakin' break!) Anyway, this script for an E.D. product over at Izzle pfaff from the demented mind of Skot is what all those ads should be.

ANNOUNCER VO: Turgidin. You need boners. We need money.

Re-election Surprise Predictions

So what re-election stunt will Rove, Cheney, and Ashcroft pull in October to insure another 4 years of our current moron and liar-in-chief? October Surprise has a poll that asks people to vote on and/or suggest possible scenarios. Current results are:

Osama bin Laden captured! 38.1%
Spectacular terrorist attack on US soil! 17.8%
Vote is threatened by terrorist attacks, vote suspended due to red alert.15.5%
Diebold Election Systems fixes the vote in battleground states. 11.1%
Escalation in Israel, Iran, or North Korea. US opens a new war front. 7.4%
WMD's found in Iraq! 5.2%
US pulls out of Iraq in October, leaving the UN in charge. 5.0%

Total votes: 3140

Bush Administration Changes A Lightbulb

Original author unknown.....

How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to replace a lightbulb?
SEVEN:

one to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced

one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the lightbulb,

one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb,

one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs,

one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a lightbulb,

one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag,

and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.

Republican National Convention Schedule

Found on a discussion forum......

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1 Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin'Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: a drain on our nation's economy.
11:10 PM Hillary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

They Can't Even Keep Their Own Lies In Sync

This stands without any comment:

RHETORIC:
"John Kerry's backward-looking approach would return us to the failed policies of treating terror as a law-enforcement matter."
- Bush campaign statement, 3/27/04

REALITY
"This was a domestic airplane that was operated by people who were in the United States against a United States target, which makes it a law enforcement [issue]...We’ll leave [terrorism] to the FBI and the FBI was basically law enforcement. They’re the people who when someone breaks the law they go out and stop them."
- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, 3/25/04

How Much More Lying?

We're way beyond being hip deep in this shit.

CLAIM:

President Bush said yesterday that a memo he received a month before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks did not contain enough specific threat information to prevent the hijackings and "said nothing about an attack on America." "I am satisfied that I never saw any intelligence that indicated there was going to be an attack on America -- at a time and a place, an attack."
- Washington Post, 4/12/04

FACT:

In a single 17-sentence document, the intelligence briefing delivered to President George W. Bush in August 2001 spells out the who, hints at the what and points toward the where of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington that followed 36 days later.
- NY Times, 4/12/04

CLAIM:

"The [August 6, 2001] PDB was no indication of a terrorist threat...[It] said nothing about an attack on America."
- President George W. Bush, 4/11/04

FACT:

"[There are] patterns of suspicious activity in this country consistent with preparations for hijackings or other types of attacks, including recent surveillance of federal buildings in New York...The FBI is conducting approximately 70 full field investigations throughout the US that it considers Bin Ladin-related. CIA and the FBI are investigating a call to our Embassy in the UAE in May saying that a group of Bin Ladin supporters was in the US planning attacks with explosives."
- Presidential Daily Briefing, August 6, 2001

CLAIM:

"I asked the intelligence agency to analyze the data to tell me whether or not we faced a threat internally, like they thought we had faced a threat in other parts of the world. That's what the PDB request was."
- President George W. Bush, 4/11/04

FACT:

According to the CIA, the briefing "was not requested by President Bush." As commissioner Richard Ben-Veniste disclosed, "the CIA informed the panel that the author of the briefing does not recall such a request from Bush and that the idea to compile the briefing came from within the CIA."
- Washington Post, 3/25/04

CLAIM:

[The August 6th PDB] "was historical information based on old reporting. There was no new threat information. And it did not, in fact, warn of any coming attacks inside the United States."

- National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice, 4/8/04

FACT:

The August 6th PDB included very current information, including warnings that the FBI had detected "patterns of suspicious activity in this country consistent with preparations for hijackings or other types of attacks, including recent surveillance of federal buildings in New York." The memo also included information from just 90 days beforehand noting that al Qaeda members were trying to enter the United States for an attack with explosives. "The FBI is conducting approximately 70 full field investigations throughout the U.S. that it considers Bin Laden-related. CIA and the FBI are investigating a call to our Embassy in the UAE in May saying that a group or Bin Laden supporters was in the U.S. planning attacks with explosives," the document said.

- Retuers, 4/10/04


CLAIM:
"There really was nothing that looked like it was going to happen inside the United States...There was nothing demonstrating or showing that something was coming in the United States."

Source: - Condoleezza Rice, 4/8/04

FACT:
Page 204 of the Joint Congressional Inquiry into 9/11 noted that "In May 2001, the intelligence community obtained a report that Bin Laden supporters were planning to infiltrate the United States" to "carry out a terrorist operation using high explosives." The report "was included in an intelligence report for senior government officials in August [2001]." In the same month, the Pentagon "acquired and shared with other elements of the Intelligence Community information suggesting that seven persons associated with Bin Laden had departed various locations for Canada, the United Kingdom, and the United States."

- Joint Congressional 9/11 Inquiry, 12/02

This is outright lying, pure and simple. In Condi's case, it's perjury, since she was under oath. How can anyone with a shred of intelect not be disgusted and morally outraged? How can anyone even consider for an instant voting for these sleazebags for a second term?

Telemark Skiing Equipment Observation

I don't get it. Maybe 'cause I'm not a telemarker/free-heeler/pin-head/BC-skier/whateverer. Maybe 'cause I don't eat granola or own Birkenstocks. Maybe 'cause I listen to bands like NIN, Garbage, Bad Religion, The Offspring, Save Ferris, and a host of others - but none of it encompassing twangy banjo blue-ass crap-folk music. As a species we've built life-sustaining platforms in space; we have a few robots prowling around on a planetary neighbor; we've managed to clone other species as well as the first attempts at our own; we have computational power that can fit in our hand that is orders of magnitude more powerful than machines that required entire rooms 40 and even 15 years ago; we have applied both high strength lightweight materials that we created along with extremely sophisticated engineering to recreational activities like skiing.

It's that last one. Skiing has it's roots in ancient times. Materials and techniques have been under constant development and refinement for literally hundereds of years. Modern alpine downhill skiiing is relatively recent as compared to nordic/telemark, as the free-heel crowd likes to point out. Can someone please explain then why there are endless problems, breakage, and poor design of telemark bindings? The need for tinkery home-shop modifications to climbing skins to get them to stay on? Debates about the glue to use for skins and how to keep the skins apart when they're not on the bottom of the ski?

Hello? Glue? Glue??!!!?? It's 2004 folks. Is this really the best we can do? What gives? Are all the manufacturers in tele space asleep at the wheel?

Spam Prose

A common spam tactic is to send the ad for an item as an image instead of as text. Spam filtering programs quickly caught on to this, so the spammers countered by surrounding and padding the images with lots of text. This fools the Bayesian filters into accepting the note as legitimate email. There are 3 popular techniques used by spammers to generate this fake text: random letters grouped in random lengths, random dictionary words strung together, and random phrases from random books. This last one is often generated with Amazon's new "look or search inside" feature. Sometimes though it leads to some pretty existential subjects and body text, like this one I received yesterday:

Subject: Re: Balance Due, acct Jerome - cyprus mulch toothaches for 970

apartment building make love to customer inside.Bbut they need to remember how non-chalantly minivan defined by pit viper gets stinking drunk.A few trombones, and blithe spirit behind) to arrive at a state of lover. Now and then, over philosopher fall in love with dissident from freight train.

Trombones, freight train dissidents, pit vipers, and non-chalant, drunken minivans, all in a single meme. What more could one want?

Font This!

It appears that the State Department wants to modernize:

In a sign that no matter is too small to affect international diplomacy, the US State Department has issued an edict banning its longtime standard typeface from all official correspondence and replacing it with a "more modern" font.

In an internal memorandum distributed on Wednesday, the department declared "Courier New 12" - the font and size decreed for US diplomatic documents for years - to be obsolete and unacceptable after February 1.

"In response to many requests and with a view to making our written work easier to read, we are moving to a new standard font: 'Times New Roman 14'," said the memorandum.

The new font "takes up almost exactly the same area on the page as Courier New 12, while offering a crisper, cleaner, more modern look," it said, adding that after February 1 "only Times New Roman 14 will be accepted."

Does this mean other govenrment agencies will be adopting more appropriate fonts? Obviously one of the first would be the mandate that all future intelligence reports be done in MS Comic Sans.

We Got Him...Somewhere....Probably

The administration has been remarkably silent about Osama Bin Laden pretty much ever since BushCheneyRummy satisfied their collective hard-on for invading Iraq. Recently though there were a couple of well planted articles from DoD and Pentagon sources saying how we're still hot on the trail of OBL and how close we are to capturing him. So how far fetched is the idea that we already have OBL captured and on ice somewhere? Think about it. The idiot son is at his lowest approval rating, and that was before he offered up his drunken-sailor-on-a-binge idea of a budget. The non-existent WMD shit is really starting to hit the fan with the oddly prophetic phrase "failure of intelligence". The Democrats will annoint someone to go into battle, Bush's numbers will continue to slide, Kerry or Edwards will command a sizeable lead in the polls. And sometime just before the election - early October most likely - the military/pr/propaganda machine will manufacture the historic capture of OBL. The Admin will trot him out; Bush will say "We got him!"; his numbers will soar thanks to the moronic majority; he'll be reelected with huge numbers and won't need to buy the election from Diebold like he did with the Florida election commision in 2000.