Convoluted obtuse double speak gibberish from HR....
Here's how one immensely clueless dot com company informed it's employees of imminent layoffs:

Thanks to our corporate restructuring of the basic scalable elements need in the vertical dissemination of value-added products through a series of networked servers connected via fiber optics, we are projected to enjoy a brief productivity spurt proportionate to the rest of the undervalued market. In lieu of this unexpected spike, we are still moving forward proactively with our plan to monetize our vertical information resources and reorganize the essential e-business units of our company. The reorganization requires upper-management and upper-upper-management to identify the underachieving nodes within the corporate structure and de-emphasize their impact, thereby preserving valuable investor assets, and preserving our market niche.

Screaming idiots.