Happy Satanic Christmas

One day last week I had the Today show on while bumbling about doing morning stuff. Then they had one of their guests on.......
I have seen the gates of hell. I've peered into the very face of the demon. I heard and saw the anti-christ. The hell-spawn that will annihilate us all is Barry Manilow. His epoxied-on, perpetual smiling visage peered out from the electron fog of the picture tube as he launched into his version of White Christmas/Happy Holidays. I immediately felt the waves of nausea envelop me as the wreched dreck the ass clowns at the Today show have been sodomized into thinking was music and singing reverberated off the green-pea soup plastered walls of our living room. I ran to find a long screwdriver with which to gouge out my eardrums and plunge into my brain. More than anything I wanted the madness to stop.
I've seen the face of pure evil - the demonic grin of Barry Manilow.