A Heard joke
What's the difference between George W Bush and Hitler?
Hitler was duly elected.

Reality Is A Problem For Conservatives
Came across an interesting quote today by media analyst Michael Parenti:

"The conservative problem is (that) reality itself is radical. The third world really is poor and oppressed. The United States usually does side with third world oligarchs. Our tax system really is regressive. Millions of Americans do live in poverty. Public services really are being ruthlessly cut. Corporations do plunder and pollute the environment. Real wages for blue collar workers have declined. And the rich have dramatically increased their share of the pie."

Despite their best efforts, there are limits to how much spin morons like Bill O'Rielly, Sean Hannity, the drug-addled Rush Limbo, and the voice of the radical right, the FOX Propaganda Network, can finesse these realities. Sometimes ugly fact just intrudes too strongly on deeply held fantasy. Consequently, to many stalwart conservatives, media reporting of and commentary on things like the costs and problems in Iraq or the tax breaks for the wealthy do prove a "liberal bias" in the media as far as they're concerned.

Dial-Up Modem Usage
Every now and then in some discussion group, an outspoken individual will proclaim that dial-up is dead, almost "everyone" has high speed broadband access, and that web designers don't have to worry about dial-up anymore. Often these individuals are college students with little world experience, but that's beside the point. What really matters is they couldn't be more wrong. I finally came across some recent numbers:

There are approximately 70 million people with internet access in the US.
Number who access with:
Internet TV: 1 M
DSL: 3 M
Cable modem: 5 M
Dial-up modem: 61 M
[source: Information Technology Association of America]

Obviously each site needs to determine it's own user base and if dial-up users are a significant (or important enough) fraction to warrant concern. However the implication is clear: if you want your site to be usable for the greatest possible number of visitors, the design must be optimized for fast loading on a dial-up connection. And that doesn't mean 56Kbps. A huge majority of phone lines and switches aren't clean enough to support even that speed. The sites must be optimized for 28.8Kbps and even at that, a significant number of dial-up users with 56K modems will actually connect at 14.4Kbps.

Court Antics
This time it's the D.C. Sniper case. Typically after this kind of decision, hilarity ensues.

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) - A judge granted sniper suspect John Allen Muhammad's surprise request Monday to represent himself, minutes before opening statements in the trial were to begin.

The proceedings had started nearly an hour late, and Circuit Judge LeRoy F. Millette Jr. immediately called a bench conference with Muhammad and defense and prosecuting attorneys. Muhammad and Millette spoke directly to each other for more than five minutes before the judge announced that defense lawyers Peter Greenspun and Jonathan Shapiro would only be assisting Muhammad.

``His attorneys are now what is known as standby counsel,'' Millette told the jury. He did not explain why Muhammad chose to represent himself.

Prosecutors would not say why Malvo was summoned. He had refused to testify at a recent hearing and instead invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.

Enjoy What You Said and Voted You Wanted!
OK California, I hope you got what you really wanted. At a moment when the stakes could not have been higher, you voted in an action hero who waved a broom. Some of the other politicians, at least the serious ones, had huge, reasonably well thought out platforms. You voted in a mediocre actor who spouted lines from his movies, gave no interviews of any substance, never really articulated any plans, and agreed to exactly one debate - where he knew the questions in advance.
Best of luck, guys!

The New Guy
Obviously this photo was taken when his inner machine was in dominant mode.


[AP/Reuters News photo]

This Just Leaves Me Speechless
From an AP news item about GWB and how he gets his news:

Bush insisted he was "not paying attention" to the Democratic race. He said he knew who the candidates are, but had not watched a Democratic debate.
Likewise, Bush's response to the Democrats' specific criticisms about his handling of the war in Iraq and the economy. "I repeat, I'm not really paying attention to it," he said.
Bush said he insulates himself from the "opinions" that seep into news coverage by getting his news from his own aides. He said he scans headlines, but rarely reads news stories.
"I appreciate people's opinions, but I'm more interested in news," the president said. "And the best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world."

Where on Earth would we be able to find anyone with less perspective and curiosity about the world?

GWB Really Is A Moron
George Bush briefed reporters on his ongoing efforts to find out who leaked the name of John Wilson's wife as a CIA operative:

"I don't know if we're going to find out the senior administration official," Bush said. "I don't have any idea. I'd like to. I want to know the truth."
But, Bush said, "This is a large administration and there's a lot of senior officials."

I don't get it. Does he really have that much contempt for the American public? Does he really think we're that stupid? How can he possibly believe we'll find Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, but doesn't believe we'll find a felony criminal on his own staff?

Hamburger Anyone?
I'm not sure precisely what, but there's something strangely poetic lurking in this story:

REDDICK, Fla. — Florida, the lightning capital of the nation, lived up to its reputation when 20 prized, pregnant cows were killed by a bolt that hit an oak tree they were huddled under at a north Florida farm, police said. Two others were euthanized.

"The hole in the tree was the size of a watermelon," said Rose Mary Cameron of Clover Leaf Farm. "The ones that were under the tree did not move. They just fell over each other. They were all tangled up."

She said two others appeared brain dead, "so the manager put them down."

Paul Resler of the National Lightning Protection Corp. in Denver said trees are the worst place to seek shelter in case of lightning.

"Of course we as humans know that, but the cows do not know that," Resler said.

I also nominate Paul Resler as this year's reigning Master of the Obvious.

Through The Parody Lense?
Let's see....blaster worm, anti-blaster worm, SoBig.e virus, Northeast blackout, CA recall circus....remind me again exactly when The Onion stopped being satire and started actual news reporting?

Thank You, California!
I would like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank California for taking the heat and focus off of Utah. We are the butt of jokes about the Olympic bidding scandal, the Tom Green polygamy trial, the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping with it's fanatic religious overtones, the ass-clowns in Virgin that voted in a law requiring gun ownership of all residents, and the moronic LaVerkin town council that declared the town to be a U.N. Free Zone.

But now with the recall vote of Gray Davis, the focus is on the ever-goofy CA politics and the raftload of potential candidates, including Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ariana Huffington, and Gary Coleman (yes, *that* Gary Coleman!)

Once again, the state of Utah thanks you.

Aw Crap - The Beetle Lives
Seems I was so caught up in my excitement about the end of the VW Beetle in my post of June 23 that I missed a key point. It isn't the entire line that's coming (has come) to an end - just the old, original Beetle design that was still being manufactured in other countries. Due to safety and noise, that model hasn't been legal in the US since 1977. Unfortunately, this means we still have the neo-retro new beetle fouling our visual space.
Damn.
I knew it was too good to be true.